There is no denying that we are living through incredibly challenging times. It’s called a meta crisis because “it’s coming at us” from so many angles and unthinkable scenarios: babies being deliberately starved in Gaza, the rise of a right-wing, unethical, greedy billionaire elite, the climate crisis, social injustice, societal division, “natural” disasters, many examples of global conflict… I could go on.
This morning I was standing in our kitchen, looking at our beautiful garden making pancakes for our two girls. I felt so much joy and gratitude for a brief moment until the guilt and shame hit me like a hammer. How can I stand here this morning enjoying the “simple things” when there are mothers holding the dead bodies of their children killed systematically and deliberately by other humans on our watch?
I am neurodivergent and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and I can’t spend too much time letting these scenarios get into my body, which of course is another source of guilt and shame but it’s necessary to protect my health and ability to function. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t always with me subconsciously, pressing down heavily on my heart, mind, and nervous system. But, it’s also a driver for action, compassion, change, and “fight” up to a certain point.
Shame seems to be a predominant emotion for many of us in our current global situation. A feeling of “I don’t deserve to be happy in the face of so much pain.” Brené Brown defines shame as “the fear of disconnection—it’s the fear that something we’ve done or failed to do, an ideal that we’ve not lived up to, or a goal that we’ve not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection”.
She emphasises that shame is a painful feeling of being flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. Funnily enough (not haha at all) it seems that it’s the people who care, who show empathy and compassion also feel the bulk of shame, rather than the main perpetrators in this all-encompassing tragedy. This mechanism unfortunately all too often leads to burnout, depression, and other negative outcomes for our mental and physical health.
I believe that as human beings we naturally strive towards homeostasis but this can be difficult when we are overwhelmed. Our nervous system constantly detects threats to our safety which is accelerated by our omnipresent exposure to the media. Of course, suffering is a natural part of human existence but it’s when we get stuck in suffering and negative feelings that it becomes a problem. When we spend too much time in pain, shame, guilt and misery, we lose our ability to function, to be creative, to be resilient, to move forward…and to do something about the dire state of our world.
In order not to get numb and burnt out, we need an antidote to create balance for our well-being and our ability to become empowered and proactive. In times like these, our neurobiology needs deliberate and conscious support in producing neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins to help us access positive feelings.
Our brain asks our help to purposefully rewire our neural pathways. Thankfully this is something that can be learned and practiced. If you would like to learn more about specific approaches, check out Rick Hanson’s “Taking in the Good” or James Baraz’ “Awakening Joy” for example.
In short: There is always also “good” around us even though we might tend to take things for granted: a helpful neighbour, a stranger’s smile, clean water, the blossom on the tree outside our window, a chat with a friend, a delicious cup of coffee… This might sound random but it just shows that every moment also has a blessing. Bringing more mindful awareness into our lives helps us to pause every so often and notice them. The more we practice this the more automatic it becomes to see the beauty all around us.
We need to learn and normalise that it’s not only ok, but necessary to seek good news, joy, and positive emotions in the midst of pain, suffering and chaos. When we look at the world in a historical context, crisis always also produced amazing art, beautiful music, incredible kindness and humanity, progressive invention, strong community values and action and so much more.
Finding hope and joy in these times doesn’t mean closing our eyes to the desperate cruelty and suffering around us, quite the opposite. It means knowing that there is a possibility for things to be different which is at the core of hope, change, and empowered action.
Prolonged shame and negativity are barriers to creative forward movement which we need so badly. So for today, make it your mission to see the good, seek out positive news, find the heroes, savour the beauty that’s all around us.
If you would like to learn more about finding hope in hard times, check out our course “The Seven Elements of Climate Resilience” which can be equally helpful for the “meta challenges” we are currently experiencing.
