A couple of days ago, after much thought and hesitation, I started watching “Inside the Manosphere” by Louis Theroux, one reason being that I am a big fan (of Louis Theroux’s!!!) and have watched every single documentary so far. I had not watched the much-talked-about Adolescence yet, as I was not sure whether it would be a good idea for my nervous system ;-) So I wasn’t sure about “Inside the Manosphere”. The day beforehand, I had chatted to a friend who talked me through it a little, and I decided to watch it as I believe it’s important to educate myself rather than close my eyes to it.
About halfway through the documentary, something struck me like a lightning bolt, and it had nothing to do with the content of this piece. After hearing some of the followers and fans talk about the toxic manosphere influencers and their outlandish perceptions, opinions and views, I felt for only a brief moment what it must be like to have this tunnel vision without any common sense or a sense of “reality”.
The good old days:
When I was young, we had a television with three channels. Everybody was presented with the same content, whether we liked it or not. At the same time, though, we all had a similar sense of what was going on in the world. The media was less manipulative, and even though there were obviously differing tastes, opinions and interests, it still felt like we were generally “reading from the same sheet”.
Self-expression or following personal interests was done through music choice, going to the cinema, fashion, reading or borrowing video tapes. People went to concerts, joined clubs or found other creative ways to “find themselves”, discover a self-identity and make connections with like-minded people.
Going down the rabbit hole:
Today, social media has made it possible to create our own realities, whether it’s good, bad or ugly, without that base of common awareness. Choice of course initially is a good thing, but when manipulative forces (AI, algorithms, & Co.) start targeting our vulnerabilities, we’re on a slippery slope of losing a sense of reality. Healthy and strong adults who stand in the world with both feet and their head firmly screwed on might stand half a chance… But what about our young people, children, teenagers or adults with a trauma or challenging mental health background?
I used to sit with my mouth open at some of the crazy stuff I heard people talk about, wondering how they could so completely lose their sense of “reality”, whatever that may be. This became as clear as day when I was watching “Inside the Manosphere”, for the first time getting a sense of going down a singular rabbit hole and disregarding any verifiable sources of “the real world”.
It is utterly frightening what our children are exposed to and confronted with in this parallel universe and as we know for sure at this stage, we don’t know the half of it. Whether it’s pornography, hate speech, conspiracy theories, racism, misogyny, paedophilia, radicalised views or whatever else is lurking in the muddy waters of the internet… It’s high time we all woke up and stepped in to stop this madness, or at least provide education and balance.
Mums, dads, carers, educators, politicians, lawmakers and responsible citizens… please make it your business to create this balance for our youth. Foster real-life connections, have difficult conversations, draw boundaries of what is acceptable, and make laws to protect our children from the abyss they are not able for. It is our responsibility to become more aware and take action for the benefit of our children.
Maybe this idea resonates with some: My daughter got her first phone when she went to secondary school at age 14. Before she got it, we wrote a contract together: She is allowed to use her phone for ½ hour per day, there are no social media accounts apart from WhatsApp, and if I decide to, I can check her phone at any stage. There are some more bits to it, but everyone’s different so you could draw it up to suit your situation.
